Ask the Way Jesus Asked

Adam is hiding behind a tree. Of course God knows where he is. "Where are you?" is not a request for information; it is a door held open so Adam can speak. The instinct after sin is to hide, and God's way of coming to look for us is not to drag us out but to call us out. The first thing God ever said to a human being was a question and not a command — and every person who wants to walk with others should sit with that fact for a long time.

The scene outside Jericho looks even more like asking what he already knows. Blind Bartimaeus is shouting at the roadside, "many rebuked him, that he should be quiet." Jesus stands still, has him called over, and then asks: "What do you want me to do for you?" Everyone present can see what he wants. But Jesus insists that he say it himself — "Rabboni, that I may see again." One question turned a man who had been shouted down back into a man with a voice. The crowd stopped his mouth; the Lord gave it back to him. That is the power of asking.

**Opening questions**, to begin: "What has been taking up most of your mind lately?" Far more useful than "How have you been," because the standard answer to that one is "fine."

**Mirror questions**, to bring God into the thing: "Do you think God is in this? How do you think he sees it?" Do not answer for him. Let him look for himself.

**Digging questions**, to chase the half sentence he left unfinished: "You said 'fine' just now — what does fine feel like?" "You said 'it's all in the past.' Is it really past, or do you just not want to talk about it?" Dig one sentence at a time. If he stops and actually thinks, that is enough.

**Forward questions**, to close: "This week, what is the next step you'd like to try?" Small enough that he can do it, concrete enough that he can name a time.

One question from each of the four is plenty for a single meeting. People who ask well usually talk less than half the time.

The same sentence, said in a different tone, becomes an interrogation. "How have your devotions been?" can be care, or it can be an audit. "Why haven't you told your family yet?" can be digging, or it can be pressure. There is only one way to tell the difference: before you ask, ask yourself — do I want to know him, or do I want to confirm that he is meeting standard?

Two more lines to hold. First, **when you can't hold the answer, hold the person.** What comes out may be heavier than you expected (the listening you practiced in lesson 59 belongs here): do not rush to evaluate, do not immediately supply a solution, say "thank you for telling me" first. Second, **when you reach the red line, stop.** If he voices thoughts of self-harm or of ending his life, stop the lesson at once, stay with him, do not leave him alone, and contact your pastor and professional help that same day (in the United States you can dial 988, or your local crisis line). Where there is violence, abuse, or a crime, safety comes first: report it as the law requires. In those moments what you owe him is not one more good question. It is staying beside him and getting real help connected.